Back to Black

This time of year is almost calculated to make us feel grumpy – the cold, the lack of money after Christmas, the knowledge that there is still a while to go until summer, long nights, seasonal affective disorder caused by lack of sunlight. I could go on….

Whilst I sailed into this year on a high with a new clarity and sense of purpose in my head, I have had an extremely grumpy week in general. Nothing circumstantially has changed dramatically in that time that accounts for it. You see I had become so used to feeling like everything was good, that I think I had grown complacent about it. I started to believe that the rollercoaster had stopped and that I could just remain on my cloud of non-stress.

I haven’t been meditating at all, it has been ages since I have done yoga. Unfortunately, I am starting to feel it. The thing is when I have the opportunity to meditate, I choose not to, the excuse being that I have other things to do. I find distractions for myself. Right now, I would like a really big glass of wine, much more than I would like to meditate (I may actually be sipping one now….)

Complacency is a dangerous thing by any stretch of the imagination. On a macro-economic level, it led to a crash and global recession; as everyone thought that the boom years would last forever. In all your relationships, in your career, in your health; we should make a consistent effort. I don’t mean the kind of effort where you feel like you’re banging your head against an unyielding brick wall. I mean the kind of effort where you appreciate and continue to work at things, rather than coasting along.

So to give an example, it is no good going on a hardcore diet and exercise regime for a 6 months, only to revert back to all of your old bad habits when you are “comfortable” again. You cannot expect your body to stay in the shape that it is, or even nearly as good as it is. Over time, it will go back to how it was at the beginning. On a spiritual level, being connected to a higher entity and the universe requires effort. If you stop trying, then you will inevitably regress backwards over time.

It is perhaps not surprising that when we are happy, we stop looking inwards. Often, it takes a kick up the a** to put us back on course again. Or in my case, just that creeping sense of malaise again. I am under no illusions that without meditation, I would not be where I am today. I need it as much as ever to continue walking the path that I am on. Like most things in life, it is not always easy and often it makes me realise things I didn’t particularly want to know.

So I have a choice; I can sit and feel grumpy and let circumstances and people really irritate me or I can make the effort to meditate and write and do the things that make me feel a sense of calm in chaos. We always have a choice. It is how we react to things that determine how we feel. If someone is doing their utmost to irritate you, by responding calmly you are robbing them of their power over you. Because it’s easy to blame a place or another person, easier than looking at ourselves. We can always redesign ourselves and we should be doing that within the boundaries of our personality. In an attempt to find something that speaks to a truer sense of self.

“You need to have a redesign because familiarity breeds a kind of complacency.” A quote by Timothy White.

I’m off to meditate now (after I have finished my glass of wine…..)



6 thoughts on “Back to Black

  1. It is like you took the words right out of my mouth! Beautifully said. This time of year is BLEAK. Staying positive and focused can be a struggle… I’m off to yoga now, hopefully it will make me less grumpy 😉

  2. i can totally relate… it’s crazy how we can know exactly what is good for us/ needs to be done to get outta our funk but sometimes require an extra push or glass of vino… i’ve learnt to just accept my process though… we need our downs to appreciate the ups- and if they take us a bit out of our heads for a while then i see it as a healthy break haha– all about the balance… it had only been about 4 days since i had been to yoga when i went on saturday, but the gap had been filled with a lot of irrationality and vino that it felt like months!! anyway i enjoyed the read 🙂

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