It has been a long time since I wrote for this blog. So much has happened in that time and so much has changed for me, that I simply got distracted. For anyone that is still interested in my blog, I hope that this may speak to you in some small way.
What is an illusion?
‘a deceptive appearance or impression’ or a ‘false idea or belief’
All of us have illusions and usually they don’t serve us. I must be rich to be happy, I must climb the corporate ladder, I must work 80 hours a week to be successful, I must get married to be accepted, I can’t do this because… etc. All these thoughts are limiting beliefs. That things must be done a certain way or certain things cannot be done. Our illusions can even be harmful, if the motivation behind it is not really coming from you.
The initial shattering of any illusion raises so many questions, most of all when some home truths cause you to examine yourself and question your own motivations.
Apologies for the long questions to come…
How many of you do things purely because other people tell you you should or make you feel bad for not doing them; rather than wanting or doing something because it is the right thing for you?
You’re so busy believing that what you think you want is true and you can’t be happy or successful without it, that you forget to be grateful for what you do have in front of you?
How many illusions are forced upon you by other people?
Have you given up on something because you and other people wrongly convinced you that it wasn’t possible?
Who focuses on all the things they may or may not want in the future, forgetting to appreciate the now and all the joy to be had in the present?
Personally, I get really annoyed when someone tries to foist their opinion on me and won’t take no for an answer. It seems to say that either they’re not listening to you or they have no respect at all for what you’re saying. They’re forcing their illusions on you. Sometimes, it’s easier to give in rather than continue saying no.
As a very simple example, you’re on a diet and rather than your friend being supportive, she keeps saying, “Just eat this, it’s only a little bit. It won’t hurt you. Eat it. How can it hurt” And going on and on and on about it. Eventually, you might just give in. The point is you shouldn’t. You should tell them to BACK OFF. And if your friend was a true friend, they would try to understand how important it is to you (even if they found it hard), and do everything they can to help you.
I realise to my horror that sometimes I can be one of those people who try to force my opinions on others. And I don’t like it!
Let’s take relationships. Do I have a ‘conventional’ relationship? Probably not (according to societal standards).
But when I was on a very strict eating regime for a health problem and couldn’t eat or drink anything refined or sugary (especially not alcohol), I remember clearly my partner not eating or drinking anything I couldn’t eat in front of me. Every time my life changed in another direction, my partner said, you focus on what you have to do because I know how important it is to you.
Did I appreciate those things at the time? Yes, I did. And recently while examining myself, I realise just how much I appreciated those constant little things, which add up to a whole lot of things. The things that REALLY matter. They add up to saying, I accept you and support you.
But he will also tell me when I’m out of line and he stays truthful (to himself and to me).
What am I saying? Don’t get caught up in an illusion of what your life SHOULD look like (because that’s what everyone else does). So what if your life doesn’t look like everyone else’s? Why place those unreasonable demands on yourself?
Question your motives. Why do you want something? I never ever wanted to follow the crowd but still it’s hard to shake off the illusion of convention. And that’s all it is, an illusion. Someone at some point decided that that was what everyone must do. For an unconventional person, how could convention make you happy?
You can never change a person but one of the best things you can do is encourage them to look at themselves (and their illusions). So they can change into an even better, truer version of themselves.
A quote by David Icke:
When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Do you see the real you, or what you have been conditioned to believe is you? The two are so, so different. One is an infinite consciousness capable of being and creating whatever it chooses, the other is an illusion imprisoned by its own perceived and programmed limitations.